express yourself

Has it really been so long since I've written a blog? A really decent one? Truly? Alas, despite my sincere good intentions to keep updated with my blog, I have failed miserably, when you consider my goal was to update at the very least once a week. So much has happened in the last six months, I hardly know where to begin. The most important bit of news has yet to be officially aired in this blog (and will explain a lot!), which is we are expecting a baby! As of this Saturday I will be 26 weeks pregnant with a little boy we plan to welcome into the world on or around Mother's Day (May 13th). We didn't actually plan that at all, it just worked out nicely that way - we didn't even put two and two together that our due date was Mother's Day until a few months ago. Or at least I didn't, maybe Chris was faster on that than I was. Which wouldn't be at all surprising, because I have completely lost my mind. It feels like it at least! For the first 13 weeks, I was very sick, all day/night, every day, so pretty much every minute of every day was spent at work working, at home trying to eat and sleeping, all the while trying not to throw up (for all you more squeamish readers, I apologize - I'm not very squeamish usually, so I just tend to say what is in my head, which unfortunately doesn't always come out all that "proper."). Thankfully indeed that disappeared not long after the first trimester, so we've been able to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy so far. As of this week, though, I'm starting to really feel big, even though I don't show all that much. I'll have to take a photo and post it - unfortunately, we've taken very few photos of me. I'm pretty sad about that, as those would be really fun to look back on, plus I tend to forget most everything that isn't immortalized in a photo or journal as a reminder. Better late than never, though, so we'll start taking some pictures soon, I hope, now that the weather is nicer and we're out and about more. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes…losing my mind (see?!)... This baby has sapped my brain of it normal ability to process details, analyze information, or remember…anything. Which really sucks when you analyze for a living. Sheesh! I've never written so many sticky notes in my life. Does anyone know what causes Pregnancy Brain, besides the obvious answer (the baby)? I mean, what is it REALLY that makes you lose your mind, and is there a cure for it? Does it come back? We're in real trouble if it doesn't. I do appreciate and understand my own mother a little better now, though. She was pregnant three times.

Anyway, so we are very happy. We're just entering into that anxious phase though, as everything is starting to sink in now that we only have 14 weeks left to go, and my ever-growing belly is a constant reminder of the changes to come. I'm so happy the weather is nice, though - freezing, but beautiful. I don't know how I ever thought I'd want to have a baby in the dead of winter, as we had originally been thinking. I never would have survived the dark dreariness, which in my mind I always enjoy, but in body and spirit it just depresses me. I never know how much until the first sunny days start to appear and I start feeling 1000 times better, and never realized how NOT myself I was being. Lots more energy these days, even though I’m really tired too. If that makes sense.

Labels: pregnancy